“Plugged-In”: A New Perspective on Frustrating Interactions
2024/08/01 12:00 AM Filed in:
Triggered | Communication | Relationships“Plugged-In”: A New Perspective on Frustrating Interactions
In our increasingly connected world, we often find ourselves searching for the right words to describe our emotions and reactions. Recently, the term “plugged-in” came to me as a fresh way to articulate those moments of frustration and tension we experience during interactions with others. For a while, I had been using “sparked,” but it didn’t seem to resonate or be widely understood. I, of course, didn't invent the term but formally found a good replacement for a word I wasn't comfortable using or hearing. So, why “plugged-in”? And how can this term help us better navigate our interpersonal relationships?
First, let’s address why we might need a new term. The word “triggered” has become a common part of our vernacular, often used to describe a strong emotional reaction to certain stimuli. However, it’s important to recognize that this word carries significant weight, particularly for individuals who have experienced severe trauma, such as war veterans and victims of serious abuse. By using “triggered” too loosely, we risk diluting its meaning and showing insensitivity to those who genuinely suffer from trauma-related triggers.
This consideration led me to search for an alternative that could capture the essence of those frustrating interactions without encroaching on the experiences of trauma survivors. “Plugged-in” seems to fit the bill perfectly. It evokes the idea of being suddenly connected to a source of tension or frustration, much like how plugging into an electrical socket can instantly charge or power a device. It’s an apt metaphor for the sudden surge of emotions we feel when someone says or does something that gets under our skin.
For example, my ex-wife and I often get “plugged-in” by the things we say to each other. It’s not that we’re intentionally trying to provoke one another, but certain words or topics can instantly connect us to a source of frustration. These interactions leave us feeling charged with negative energy, making it difficult to communicate effectively or resolve underlying issues.
Using “plugged-in” instead of “triggered” acknowledges the intensity of these emotions without trivializing the experiences of those with severe trauma. It allows us to describe our reactions in a way that is both accurate and respectful. Moreover, it helps us understand that these moments of frustration are like electrical connections—they can be managed, disconnected, or redirected with the right tools and mindset.
So, how can we use this new terminology to improve our interactions and relationships? Here are a few strategies:
1. Recognize the Connection: The first step is to acknowledge when you’re feeling “plugged-in.” Pay attention to your physical and emotional responses. Are you feeling a surge of anger, frustration, or irritation? Recognizing these feelings is crucial to managing them effectively.
2. Identify the Source: Once you’ve acknowledged your feelings, try to pinpoint what specifically caused you to get “plugged-in.” Was it something the other person said? A particular tone of voice? Identifying the source can help you understand why you’re reacting this way and how to address it.
3. Communicate Openly: If you’re comfortable, share your feelings with the other person. Use “I” statements to express how you feel without blaming them. For example, “I felt really plugged-in when you mentioned X because it reminded me of Y.” This approach fosters open communication and helps the other person understand your perspective.
4. Take a Break: Sometimes, the best way to deal with being “plugged-in” is to step away from the situation. Taking a break can help you cool down and approach the conversation with a clearer mind. It’s important to communicate that you’re taking a break and not just walking away, as this shows respect for the other person’s feelings as well.
5. Find Healthy Outlets: Finding ways to channel your frustration can be incredibly beneficial. Physical activities like exercise, hobbies that require focus, or even journaling can help release pent-up emotions and prevent them from escalating during interactions.
6. Seek Professional Help: If you find that you’re frequently getting “plugged-in” and it’s affecting your relationships and daily life, consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor. They can provide strategies and tools to manage your emotions more effectively.
By adopting the term “plugged-in,” we can better articulate our experiences and foster more understanding in our interactions. It’s a reminder that while we may get connected to sources of frustration, we also have the power to disconnect and manage those emotions constructively.
In conclusion, words matter. They shape our perceptions and interactions in profound ways. By choosing our words carefully, we can create a more empathetic and understanding world. So next time you feel a surge of frustration, consider whether you’re truly “triggered” or simply “plugged-in.” This subtle shift in language can lead to more respectful and productive conversations, ultimately enhancing our relationships and emotional well-being.
Tags: Relationships