The R in TREATS
2025/05/01 12:00 AM Filed in: Communication | TREATS
The R in TREATS: Rephrase
In the heat of a difficult conversation, it’s easy to misinterpret or jump to conclusions. The “R” in TREATS-Rephrase-means restating what you heard in your own words, before moving forward. This step helps the other person feel heard, prevents misunderstandings, and sets the stage for real connection.
Why Rephrasing Matters
Practical Examples: Rephrasing in Action
Example 1: “You’re always late!”
Rephrase: “So, you’re frustrated because I haven’t been on time lately.” (Proverbs 18:13: “He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.&rdquo
Example 2: “You never listen to me!”
Rephrase: “It sounds like you feel I haven’t been paying attention to what you’re saying.” (James 1:19)
Example 3: “You’re being a jerk!”
Rephrase: “So, you feel I’ve been rude or disrespectful toward you.” (Ephesians 4:15)
Example 4: When You’re Not Sure What They Mean
Rephrase: “What I’m hearing is that something I did upset you.” (Matthew 7:12)
Tips for Practicing the R-Rephrase
Don’ts (For Extra Help Only)
While I like to focus on the positives, here are a few things to avoid-just in case you need a little extra help:
Key Takeaways
A Musical Reminder
To help remember the steps, listen to The Communication Song (TREATS):
In the heat of a difficult conversation, it’s easy to misinterpret or jump to conclusions. The “R” in TREATS-Rephrase-means restating what you heard in your own words, before moving forward. This step helps the other person feel heard, prevents misunderstandings, and sets the stage for real connection.
Why Rephrasing Matters
- Shows respect: You value what the other person is saying.
- Clarifies meaning: Ensures you’re responding to what was actually said.
- Builds trust: The other person feels genuinely listened to.
Practical Examples: Rephrasing in Action
Example 1: “You’re always late!”
Rephrase: “So, you’re frustrated because I haven’t been on time lately.” (Proverbs 18:13: “He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.&rdquo
Example 2: “You never listen to me!”
Rephrase: “It sounds like you feel I haven’t been paying attention to what you’re saying.” (James 1:19)
Example 3: “You’re being a jerk!”
Rephrase: “So, you feel I’ve been rude or disrespectful toward you.” (Ephesians 4:15)
Example 4: When You’re Not Sure What They Mean
Rephrase: “What I’m hearing is that something I did upset you.” (Matthew 7:12)
Tips for Practicing the R-Rephrase
- Restate what you heard in your own words, as neutrally as possible.
- Focus on the other person’s message, not your own opinions or feelings.
- Keep it brief and to the point.
- Use phrases like, “So, you’re saying…” or “It sounds like…”
Don’ts (For Extra Help Only)
While I like to focus on the positives, here are a few things to avoid-just in case you need a little extra help:
- Don’t add your own opinions or justifications.
- Don’t use sarcasm or a mocking tone.
- Don’t skip this step, even if you think you already understand.
- Don’t ask clarifying questions yet-just reflect what you heard.
Key Takeaways
- Rephrasing is about reflecting what you heard, not asking questions or defending yourself.
- Scriptures remind us to listen fully before responding.
- This step builds trust and helps prevent misunderstandings.
A Musical Reminder
To help remember the steps, listen to The Communication Song (TREATS):
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