The Second T in TREATS
2025/06/08 12:00 AM Filed in: Communication | TREATS
The Second T in TREATS: Tell Your Truth
Once the other person feels truly heard and understood, it may be appropriate to share your own thoughts and feelings – gently and respectfully. That’s what the second “T” in TREATS is all about: Tell your truth – but only after asking permission and making sure they’re ready to listen. If you really want to dive into this deeper "Nonviolent Communication" by Marshall Rosenberg is all about this second T.
This is where mutual understanding can begin to grow.
Why Telling Your Truth Matters (When Done Right)
Key Principle from Scripture:
“Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt…” (Colossians 4:6)
Practical Examples: Telling Your Truth
Example 1: After hearing “You’re always late!”
A Musical Reminder
To help remember the steps, listen to The Communication Song (TREATS):
Once the other person feels truly heard and understood, it may be appropriate to share your own thoughts and feelings – gently and respectfully. That’s what the second “T” in TREATS is all about: Tell your truth – but only after asking permission and making sure they’re ready to listen. If you really want to dive into this deeper "Nonviolent Communication" by Marshall Rosenberg is all about this second T.
This is where mutual understanding can begin to grow.
Why Telling Your Truth Matters (When Done Right)
- Balances the conversation: You matter too, but only after offering real understanding.
- Promotes honesty: You can be real without being harsh.
- Strengthens connection: When both people share vulnerably, connection deepens.
Key Principle from Scripture:
“Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt…” (Colossians 4:6)
Practical Examples: Telling Your Truth
Example 1: After hearing “You’re always late!”
- Ask: “Would it be okay if I shared my side too?”
- Then: “I’ve had a hard time juggling everything lately. It’s not about you, and I want to do better.”
- Ask: “Are you open to hearing how I’ve been experiencing things too?”
- Then: “Sometimes I feel overwhelmed and shut down. I’m sorry – it’s not that I don’t care.”
- Ask: “Would you be okay if I shared how I’ve been feeling too?”
- Then: “I reacted poorly, and I’m sorry. I also felt really hurt in that moment, and I want to work through it.”
- Always ask if it’s a good time to share.
- Use “I” statements: “I feel…,” “I experienced…,” “I need…”
- Avoid “you” accusations: “You never…,” “You always…,” or “You made me…”
- Be clear, but also kind. Speak with grace.
- Be okay if you never get to your truth, have boundaries, and don't move forward if you are not comfortable.
- Don’t skip asking permission – it keeps the conversation safe.
- Don’t use “but” to invalidate their feelings (e.g., “I’m sorry you feel that way, but…&rdquo
- Don’t speak if they’re not ready. Wait.
- Don’t use your turn to “win.” Use it to connect.
- Don't match their energy if they get heated or riled instead go back to safety and empathy and start back over. It's super human but very rewarding.
- Doctrine and Covenants 121:41–42 – Let your influence flow with persuasion, long-suffering, and love unfeigned.
- Proverbs 15:1 – “A soft answer turneth away wrath…”
- Matthew 5:9 – “Blessed are the peacemakers…”
- Your truth matters – but only after you’ve heard theirs.
- Speak gently, honestly, and from your heart.
- Always ask if they’re ready to hear what you want to share.
- Let positive scriptures guide your tone and intention, and remember love and charity. This is why we are all here on earth.
A Musical Reminder
To help remember the steps, listen to The Communication Song (TREATS):
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